Death To Chris Anthony’s!

I knew it was too good to be true, the day I heard, “three cuts for $60.” I was sitting in the food court of Superstition Springs Mall, enjoying the juicy, tender, white chicken nuggets from Chick filet, when from behind me came a pasty, fleshed body with matted black hair that sunk into the chair next to me. I tried to ignore that my personal space had been seriously violated, and continued to try and savor the rest of my meal. As I bit into the next piece of perfection, the freaky grease man, sharply turned his head and with his finger, slid a brochure in my direction while dramatically saying , “What do you think of this!? I look up, disturbed, with half a piece of chicken coming out of my mouth and said, “ I don’t know what ‘this’ is- but I do know that you just ruined the perfect bite.” The man started telling me about “Chris Anthony’s” and how it was the most prestigious place to get your hair cut in Arizona. I then asked, “If it is so prestigious how have I not heard of it.”
“Well probably because it’s located only in Chandler and Scottsdale, but I’ll prove it to you.”- So he starts pulling different certificates, and pointing out stylists in a magazine, and I was convinced. “We are trying to get some new clients, so you get three cuts and a dye job for one price.”
“What is this Price?” I asked.
“$60.”
“Hmmm…” I thought to myself. “Three cuts for $60, I get one for $70 usually. I’m growing my hair out so I really only need a trim. Can someone really mess up on just a trim—how could they, this would be a money saver- Why not.”—I then announced “Sure, I’ll try it.”
For some odd reason, even after I consented to accept the offer, he kept trying to convince me, which just got really annoying cause I could see that steam was no longer coming from my chicken nuggets, not to mention this waste of time was wasting my break. Finally I slightly raised my voice and said, “please, I have already said yes, I need to go.”
I signed my name to the document. Little did I know that I was also signing away a piece of my pride, vanity, and identity.
So I called and scheduled my appointment for October 11, 2006 at 12:00pm. I arrived late, so unfortunately I would have to miss out on getting a style, but I figured that the cut is most important. *Quick note my hair was half dry cause I had just gotten out of the shower. As I sat down, ‘Bob’ came and started playing with my hair and said, “we have got to do something with these ends. I wished I could of defended the state of my hair, but it was true, I had not been able to afford a cut for over 12 weeks. I consented that something needed to be done, but I said “please, keep the original cut, I just need a trim.” Nic told me that for the health of my hair we should take at least an inch of which, was understandable. Obviously “Bob” went to some retarded elementary school, cause one inch was more the size of two or three inches. He then blew dry my hair, and then added, your hair is thick!- I glowed with pride, but as I was absorbed in thought of my full head of hair, Nic wasted no time in grabbing his razor and started thinning out my hair!
“What are you doing!?!?!” I cried.
“I’m thinning your hair- its really low maintenance so you can just let it dry, it won’t take anytime.-If I stop it’ll be lopsided.”
----OR LOOK ANYGOOD! - as I found out the next morning, as I tried to straighten the remaining hair I had left. I’m assuming that he thought I was a low maintenance hair kind of gal cause my hair was half wet—did he even care to ask!-I love doing my hair believe it or not. I have been doing what I can to cope with this disaster. I have even tried to put a spiritual twist, by thinking of what a humbling experience this is, or relating myself to the scriptures of Isaiah where the hair falls off the heads of the women because they were so vain. Maybe it applies to me I don’t know. I don’t think Isaiah meant for this to apply to a hair cut but it did. There were pieces about 9 inches long on the ground!-Lessons to be learned- A cheap haircut is never worth it. Anything that is a sales pitch from a brochure is evil, and never, ever go to Chris Anthony’s!!!!